101 Howlers
by JDeppIsMyLovely
Summary: Unsent howlers from various Harry Potter characters to another in a series of one shots. Multitude of ships from Romione to Drarry, I've got it all! Some may be AU and some may not.
1. Dramione Drama

**Hello there! Thank you for clicking on this story! Now for some info on what these one shots are:  
**

**These one shots are written entirely around the howlers I write. All howlers are close to the original format of the one Mrs. Weasley sent Ron in second year (ah, the memories) and can contain a variety of characters and ships. **

** About this fic: Dramione. Possibly 6th or 7th year post-DH. Enjoy! :)**

* * *

Hermione had noticed her boyfriend of three months-but apple of her eye for nine-had been acting oddly for the past two weeks. He had been missing their meetings in the library or various unused classrooms and completely blew her off during the last Hogsmeade weekend and she was determined to find out why.

"Draco, it's not even 9:30, how can you possibly be tired?" Hermione asked him in the library a week after she'd began noticed the odd behavior, tonight being no exception of the suspicious change.

"I just _am _Hermione; McGonagall chewed me out for talking to Blaise in Transfiguration and you know how much I hate her bitching." He replied annoyed and packing his things away to leave.

"I was _in _Transfiguration, Draco. It's one of the few classes we have together, remember?" she replied growing more frustrated with each ridiculous excuse, "And McGonagall didn't so much as look at you today so that's utter rubbish; I just want to know what's wrong."

"Nothing is wrong Hermione, I'm just tired. Damn." He replied sounding as equally frustrated as his disgruntled girlfriend.

"If nothing is wrong then why have you been ignoring me for the past week-and don't you _dare_ blame it on schoolwork seeing as we have the same classes." She warned.

"It's just one of those weeks, I guess." Draco replied wearily and gave her a halfhearted smile, "I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" He stood up with his book bag over his right shoulder looking at her still seated across from him at the library table.

"Yeah." Hermione replied a little gloomily and Draco turned to leave but not before she asked "Not even a kiss, Draco? Very unlike you." This brought normal-Draco back slightly in his reply.

"Very unlike me indeed. I think I'll have to do something about that."

"Then why don't you come over here and do something about it?" She suggested leaning back in her seat.

"I think I shall." Draco replied taking two strides and bending forward to place a chaste kiss on Hermione's lips. "Until tomorrow."

"Until tomorrow." Hermione mirrored and watched Draco walk out of the library and head towards his common room.

She waited three minutes before following him out of the library.

* * *

Draco entered his common room and went straight to his dormitory hoping to be alone but feeling nothing but annoyance and disappointment when he opened the door and found Theodore Nott and Blaise Zabini playing a game of Exploding Snap.

"Hello Draco," Blaise greeted, "didn't expect you to be back so early, weren't you supposed to be spending time with that girlfriend of yours?" Nott gave no indication he noticed Draco's presence as he was so focused on the game of Exploding Snap; their house of cards only at the beginning stages indicating they hadn't been there long.

"She felt ill." was Draco's only reply as he deposited his bag next his bed.

"Shouldn't you be by her bedside holding her hand and comforting her or something?"

"Do I look like a bloody Hufflepuff to you?" Draco sneered and turned around to find Blaise concentrating on the unstable game in front of him.

"On occasion." Theo replied taking the time to acknowledge Draco.

"Wanker." Draco shot back

"Now, now, Draco there is no need for name calling." Blaise chastised with his brow furrowed and eyes locked on the cards.

"Shove off Blaise."

"_I_ should shove off?" Blaise asked "you're the one who interrupted our game; I think you should be the one to leave. Maybe go visit that sick girlfriend of yours-"

"Unless she's not sick and she's secretly screwing Potter-"

"Highly unlikely" Draco snorted.

"Then why don't you go and get some concrete proof instead of lazing about in our dormitory with your flimsy, unsupported sick girlfriend theories."

"You know what? I think I will. Solitude in the corridors is preferable to keeping company with the two of you." With that last insult hanging in the air, Draco walked out of the room, down the stone steps and through the portrait hole into the dungeons corridors; glad to have a reason to leave on time.

* * *

Hermione followed him all the way to his dorm. She was hidden in a poorly lit corner debating on whether or not she should leave or stick around to see if he leaves again this evening.

_This is ridiculous, why am I acting like a paranoid girlfriend. It's just a bad week like he said, he's not cheating or anything. _Hermione thought. _He was tired and went back to his dormitory to get some rest, end of story._

_He can bring girls up there, you know._ A little voice in her head spoke up.

_That's ridiculous_ she argued back, _he went straight to his dorm; I saw him._

_You mean he went straight to his common room, you didn't see him walk into his dorm. For all you know he could be snogging Pansy Parkinson right behind that portrait_.

_What a horrible thought! Draco wouldn't cheat, he isn't like that._ Hermione reassured herself; the voice was getting to her more than it should.

_Oh? The Slytherin Sex God is opposed to infidelity? Now there's quite a shock._

_I can't believe I would think of that, Draco isn't that person anymore, he- _But her thoughts were cut off when she heard the portrait swing open to reveal an annoyed Draco Malfoy walking swiftly and purposefully towards the staircase that led to the above ground floors.

_I wonder where he's going._ She thought.

_Why don't you find out?_ The voice replied, and so once again she waited until he was nearly at the top of the stairs to follow.

He led them towards the moving staircases and rode them to the fifth floor. Knowing the castle well and not having the desire to get caught practically stalking her boyfriend, Hermione decided to use a secret passage on the second floor that led to a doorway concealed by a tapestry on the fifth.

She walked up the stairs and turned right to face a blue and silver tapestry with an eagle clutching an olive branch in its talons. Hermione pointed her wand at the leaf on the lowest branch and said "_revelare tuum secreta_."

The bottom of the ornate rug began to roll up and revealed a rounded wooden door behind it. She pushed the door open to find the hidden staircase to a secret passage on the fifth floor and started to climb quickly up the stone steps.

It took only twenty seconds to reach the opening behind the other tapestry. Hermione peeked out to see Draco turn right down the left side of the corridor. Discreetly, she slipped out of the passageway and quickly but quietly made her way down the hall to see a door disappear into the brick wall.

_The Room of Requirement!_ She thought, _That's where he's been going!_

Hermione walked to the wall and stood there for a moment until she thought of what she had to think: _I need the place Draco Malfoy secretly visits, I need the place Draco Malfoy secretly visits, I need the place Draco Malfoy secretly visits._

She opened her eyes and felt disappointment when there was nothing but a solid brick wall in front of her. She started to think of a different phrase when the door materialized out of the wall, inviting her to find out what her boyfriend's been up to.

What lay behind the door made Hermione gasp; the scene before her shocked her so completely she nearly fainted: the black-striped wallpapered room was softly lit with hundreds of levitating candles in the starry ceiling, beneath which sat a four poster bed with black silk sheets. On top of the aforementioned bed, a shirtless Draco Malfoy-her _boyfriend-_hovered over her also shirtless best friend Harry Potter. Harry's belt lay discarded on the floor three feet away along with both of their shirts as though thrown away in haste and both of the boys' hair was ruffled severely.

"What in the _hell_ is going on here?" She demanded after regaining her ability to speak. Harry looked up with his jaw dropped slightly and Draco turned his head to gape at the unexpected but familiar intruder.

"I-" Draco started to say but was interrupted by Harry.

"You haven't told her? You told me you would tonight." Harry chastised, frowning at Draco for his dishonesty.

"Tell me _what_ exactly? That my boyfriend is gay and happens to be sleeping with my bestfriend who is _also _gay?" Hermione retorted.

"Well, at least you know the truth now. Sorry, sweetheart." Draco replied feeling guilty for not telling her in the first place. Both he and Harry had sat up to face the girl in the doorway and _accio_'d their shirts as Hermione said sarcastically,

"Yes, because finding you straddling Harry without a shirt in the Room of Requirement was the most desirable way to find out."

"He _did_ apologize, Hermione." Harry quietly reminded her.

"And _you_! We are supposed to be friends and you don't tell me you're screwing my boyfriend behind my back or least of all, that you're _gay_?"

"Well I-"

"You told me you had said something to her," Draco reminded Harry who also hadn't been honest, "guess that makes us even." He snapped his eyes into Hermione.

"But you aren't innocent in this game of deception either," He accused, looking at her sharply, "_you_ followed me all the way here even though I stopped by my common room for at least 15 minutes. Waiting outside like a little detective to see what big, bad Draco was up to?"

"I-but-you." she spluttered.

"He does have you there, Hermione." Harry pointed out.

"I-" she started to say but clenched her jaw, spun on her heel and left the room leaving a cold air behind her. It was a couple of pensive minutes after she left when Draco's thoughts were interrupted by Harry.

"So...you're big and bad are you Draco?" Harry asked naughtily.

"I'll show you just how big and bad I am." Draco growled and pounced into Harry, thoughts of Hermione forgotten.

* * *

It was around ten in the morning when Draco woke up and noticed a blood red envelope addressed to himself and Harry laying on the mahogany bedside table.

"Harry, Harry wake up." Draco said nudging the sleeping boy's right arm as he lay on his stomach, face towards Draco.

"Hmm? What is it? You know I'm not one for a morning shag." He answered sleepily, not opening his eyes.

"As much as I am disappointed by that fact," Draco replied, "we've got a howler."

"Oh? From who?" Harry asked, opening his eyes and taking the glasses Draco held out for him.

"Hermione." Harry's eyes widened and looked at Draco like a lost puppy.

"S-should we open it?"

"Well it's either that or wait 'til it explodes." He reasoned, not liking either option.

"On three; one, two, three!" Harry said and Draco broke the seal to the verbal attack they knew awaited them inside the ruby envelope.

_Harry Potter! How dare you steal my boyfriend! I am absolutely furious! I am debating whether to ever talk to you again and it is entirely your fault! If you don't apologize to me soon, I will send you something worse than a howler! Oh and Draco, congrats for coming out of the closet; though your timing is terrible and I wish you'd figured it out sooner.  
Love from,  
Hermione_

Both boys remained silent as they let the last of Hermione's shrieks echo around the room and fade into a very vivid memory. Draco was the one who spoke first,

"Well, this is terrible."

"I know!" Harry replied, "I can't believe she mentioned nothing about me being gay, it was all about _you_!"

"No matter what team I play for, I am always a good shag," Draco smirked, "But I was referring to the threat to your well being and possible loss of a very close friendship."

"She did sound very upset, didn't she?" Harry asked worriedly with his head hung heavy with shame and his stomach knotted with guilt.

"Hey, look at me." Draco said gently, lifting Harry's head with two fingers, "She'll come around; you're her best friend after all" Harry, who softened slightly with these words of encouragement, gave his boyfriend a firm kiss.

"Thank you, Draco." he smiled

"But remember," Draco warned with a familiar glint in his eye, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

* * *

**So what do you think? Should I keep working on these or just abandon the idea? Let me know in a review. :) Suggestions are welcome!  
**


	2. Daddy Issues

**Hello hello hello! It has taken me quite some time to update this, hasn't it? About three weeks? Goodness! But on the bright side, this is the longest chapter I have written for anything, ever! Feel special ;)**

**About this fic: Draco/Harry interaction, non-romantic. 6th year. Enjoy!  
**

* * *

"And Bell steals the quaffle, headed for the Slytherin goal posts and-oh _dropped_ while dodging a bludger from Marcus Flint!" Lee Jordan announced to the crowd in the quidditch stands during one of the most anticipated games of the season: Gryffindor vs. Slytherin.

"The score remains 90 to 120 as Gryffindor struggles to catch up to the Slytherins! The way their chasers are dropping quaffles left and right their only hope is to catch the snitch before Slytherin gets too far ahead." Just as Lee had made that truthful observation, Draco Malfoy went into a nose dive in pursuit of the golden snitch which was hovering about twenty yards ahead and sixty feet below him. Harry saw his rival make that sudden move and heard Lee Jordan yell "Draco Malfoy spots the snitch!" then immediately headed towards him after he found the location of the fluttering ball of gold that he was after. Harry was neck and neck with in mere seconds, the snitch only half a yard away with an outstretched arm.

"You're not going to win this one Potter," Malfoy yelled still managing to sneer over the volume of the wind, "Your chasers are complete shit and I'm not letting the snitch get away from me this time."

"My chasers may be a little off their game today, but the snitch is mine." Harry replied, his hand getting closer to the snitch when Draco rammed him.

"Oh no you don't!" The force with which the opposing seeker used to try and knock Harry off his broom only moved him off course for a split second but was all Draco needed to get in the lead.

"Malfoy tries to knock Potter off his broom and gets the short time he needs to enter the lead!"

The snitch was just inches from his fingertips when he was rammed _hard _to the right, falling back a foot until he found his bearings and made his way back to Potter, neck and neck once more.

"Told you I wasn't letting the snitch get away Malfoy." Harry taunted, his fingertips only a foot away.

"And I told you P-" but Draco was cut off when a bludger was hit his way, hitting his back and causing him to fall off his broom, barely managing to hang on with his right hand.

"Malfoy nearly thrown clean off his broom by a bludger sent by Peakes as Potter continues the pursuit of the snitch." Draco struggled for a few more seconds before her heard Lee again.

"HARRY POTTER CAUGHT THE SNITCH! That makes the score 240 to 120, GRYFFINDOR WINS!"

Draco was fuming. He got back on his broom and flew back to the ground only to land next to the cheering Gryffindor team.

"You're lucky that beater of yours didn't knock me off my broom, Potter."

"And why is that Malfoy? If you had landed on your face it would have improved your features." Harry bit back.

"Is that what happened to you? Your shitty beater knocked you off your broom at practice and gave you that God awful face?" Malfoy sneered as he approached the Gryffindor seeker.

"Such a sore loser Malfoy, it's a wonder anyone can put up with you." Harry told him, shaking his head. Calls of "yeah, Malfoy" and "leave before you embarrass yourself" could be heard behind Harry from various team members. The Slytherin team stood there in silence; it was Draco's battle to fight, not theirs.

"I'll show you sore," Malfoy growled, pulling out his wand, _"Impedimenta!_"

Harry barely dodged the spell and pulled his wand from his quidditch robes when they heard McGonagall yell,

"That's enough, THAT IS ENOUGH." The witch was walking towards them quickly and with the purpose of giving them a good scolding. "Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Potter, what is the meaning of this?"

"I was provoked, professor." Malfoy said, trying to take the heat off himself and throw it all at Harry.

"Malfoy was just being a sore loser." countered Harry. Sounds of approval were heard once more from the Gryffindors.

"Well no matter who started this you are both getting detention." McGonagall informed them, despite their protests.

"What? No professor, that isn't fair! Malfoy-" Harry said indignantly.

"_I _was the victim here!" insisted Malfoy, "My father will hear about this!"

"Quiet!" The professor said sharply, "Now you both know the school rules and I expect to see you two in my office tomorrow night at eight for your detentions." McGonagall turned to walk from the quidditch pitch but turned around to speak directly to Draco, "Your father may intimidate some, but I on the other hand would have no problem giving him an earful." Draco spluttered, trying to think of something to say, yet nothing but silence curses left his lips.

But just because the transfiguration professor left didn't mean the students hostile feelings towards each other did the same.

"Way to go Potter, you've just gotten us a detention with McGonagall!"

"Me? _You're _the one with the temper and poor sportsmanship!" Harry retaliated, "Need I remind you who threw that curse?"

"You had your wand out as well! You can't just blame me for your anger management issues." Draco smirked at his ruby-robed classmate.

"Anger manage-you slimy git! Why is it so hard to admit your loss?" Harry asked.

"It wasn't my loss. I would have won if not for those bloody beaters of yours." He replied simply.

"There is no reasoning with you," Harry said in awe, "I'm leaving this conversation before my brain has to handle any more of your denial." The by standing quidditch players had at some point formed a ring around their two seekers causing the need for Harry to push his way through the crowd to escape the stubborn Slytherin.

* * *

"This is utter bullshit," Draco moaned as he lay on his four-poster in the Slytherin's dormitory that evening, "That snitch should be mine and I shouldn't have to spend a perfectly good evening I could be using to get sloshed, with Potter." Draco stewed in his outrage at his predicament for a few more minutes before deciding to write to his father like he had threatened earlier on the quidditch pitch. He opened his trunk and rummaged through it, resurfacing when he found a quill, ink and a spare bit of parchment from one of his unfinished Transfiguration essays.

_Dear Father,_

_As you know, Slytherin played Gryffindor today on the quidditch pitch. What you may not know is the fact that the snitch was wrongfully taken from me by that stupid Potter and we were given detention for dueling. I bet I was confunded by that know-it-all Granger; that's probably how Weasley managed to become their Keeper. This is completely ridiculous and I demand you do something about it. _

_Your son,_

_Draco_

Draco smirked as he rolled up his letter and made his way to the owlery.

* * *

"What you boys will be doing for me today is transfiguring these cockatoos back into goblets." McGonagall instructed, "The fifth years weren't quite getting the concept, except for Miss Weasley who was the only one that managed to transform her goblet into the bird and back without a beak." She gave a small smile towards Harry before adding,

"I will be back in an hour and I expect these to be goblets when I return so we can move on to your next assignment."

The boys looked at her and hoped by delaying the transformation process of all the birds they could get out of this detention much easier than they thought. McGonagall however had already thought of the boys' trickery and had made sure to make the transfiguration process a little more, ah; _interesting_. The professor opened the heavy wooden door to exit the classroom then turned to address the boys one last time. "If the goblets aren't back by the time I return, you'll have something a bit more unpleasant to look forward to." Draco rolled his eyes but Harry knew she meant what she said. The boys sat in silence for a good quarter of an hour; Harry trying to figure out how to best go about his punishment and Draco leaning back on a chair, obviously taking a nap. The Chosen One finally gave up on a solution to this problem, wishing Hermione was here to help and succumbed to the ever alluring act of daydreaming as the birds squawked quietly.

Harry was still smiling to himself over his girlfriend's achievement after McGonagall had left when Malfoy (who had given up on his nap) spoke.

"Real bloody proud of that weasel you call a girlfriend, aren't you Potter?"

"At least I've got a girlfriend to be proud of." Harry replied seeing this as a way to possible find out what Malfoy has been up to all year, "With the lack of female attention you've been seen with, some might say you've decided to change teams this year."

"What are you insinuating Potter?" Draco asked, picking his head up to look at his rival, eyes narrowing; the birds' chirping and fluttering in the background increasing slightly.

"I mean it's written all over the stalls in the girls' loo-" Harry was making this up but hoped it would rile the ferret up enough to burst and tell him what he'd been doing.

"What is, Potter?" If Malfoy had been less egotistical he might have sounded self-conscious.

"That your attention towards any of the female population of Hogwarts has been cold and dismissive at best this year." Harry replied coolly.

"It is none of your business if I see every girl at Hogwarts twice or I see none of them at all." Draco snapped, not liking the other boy's analysis of his extracurricular activities.

"Yet it does speak volumes to your sexual preference-"

"I am NOT gay" Draco's voice was rising at each insult and insinuation thrown at him and was causing the cockatoos create more of a fuss; wings fluttering, claws scraping against the metal cages and beaks nipping at the bars. Neither of the boys noticed the noise.

"I mean, usually I just dismiss the gossip about other people so I can focus on who could possibly be trying to kill me this year but it was just too amusing to let go of." Harry told him casually, leaning back on the desk behind him.

"Damn it, Potter I'm not gay I've just been busy." Draco's words were muted slightly by his gritted teeth.

"Busy doing what? Or should I ask whom?"

"You-" But Draco never did finish his insult. A clang then a crash of metal was heard as the birds grew, four feet in height and burst from their cages.

"Ah! Potter what the hell did you do?" Draco yelled as he pulled out his wand and started firing curses at the birds, only causing them to grow an inch for each curse that was thrown at them. Harry pulled out his wand as well,

"I didn't do anything!" The birds reached at least five and a half feet tall before Harry realized what their curses were doing to them. "Stop! STOP! They grow when hit with curses!"

Draco lowered his wand. "What do you expect us to do? They are going to bloody attack us!"

"Just let me think for a minute, Malfoy!" Harry yelled back; the cockatoos' squawking had become almost deafening. Not thirty seconds after they stopped firing their curses, one of the birds started to walk over to Draco.

"Whoa, whoa. Don't even think about pecking me you little pigeon!" He held his hands in front of him, trying to indicate to the bird that it should stop, but to no avail. The white bird walked right in front of Draco and paused right before it tried to bite the silver ring off his right hand ring finger.

"Ah! You stupid bird! Let go!" Draco screamed, trying to pull his finger from the bird's beak.

Harry was nearly on the floor from laughing until another bird left the group and pecked him squarely on the forehead.

"Ouch! What the hell was that for?" Now it was Draco's turn to laugh after his finger was finally released from the bird's beak; his silver ring not being so lucky. As Harry rubbed his forehead and watched the white feathered monster head back to its group and Draco still chucking from his schoolmate's misfortune when all the bird's activities stopped. Both boys looked up to see the near six foot cockatoo's glaring at them from the front of the classroom.

"What are they doing?" Harry whispered to Draco who was only a desk away after their battle with the birds earlier.

"I don't know," Draco replied as quietly, "best not to make any sudden-" The birds shrieked in unison and charged towards the boys; the legs of the desk screeching as they were pushed through by the mad, feathered animals.

"AHHHH!" both boys bellowed and threw their arms in front of their faces, forgetting they were wizards and that a good shield charm would have worked wonders. But as the birds reached within 3 inches of the students, they vanished into thin air with a _pop _leaving silence and wisps of smoke hanging in the air. The two teenagers lowered their arms and looked at the scene and each other completely bewildered; it was one of the strangest things that had ever happen in any of their detentions, and their first featured an encounter with Voldemort himself. The birds were gone and in their place were an orderly classroom and a piece of parchment.

Harry spotted it first and picked it up, reading it aloud,

"Dear Misters Malfoy and Potter, Thank you for being one of our testers for our newest creation the Crazed Cockatoo which gets more fidgety and distressed when the inhabitants of the room raise their voices or argue in any way. Seeing as you two are guaranteed to have an argument or disagreement or raised voices when locked in a room together, we thought this would be the perfect opportunity to test this product. They also grow in size each time they are hit with the wrong curse, similar to our parting fireworks last year.

P.S. the only spell that would have rendered these useless is the second year spell, _Fera Verto,_ which you should have thought of instead of squabbling. Truly yours, Fred and George Weasley." They boys were stunned into silence for a moment and then their emotions went in opposite directions. Draco was completely outraged whereas Harry was honestly amused.

"I think they've got a great product here." Harry commented looking over the note again.

"A great product? Are you mad, those things could have killed us!" Draco exclaimed, obviously not amused by the Weasley twin' first trial.

"Nah, nothing they create is harmful; we would have been fine." Harry replied.

"Fine? _Fine? _Potter, that thing could have pecked me to death!" Draco threw his hands in the air, "I'm telling my father about this. These things cannot possibly be allowed to go on in this God awful school!"

"You would have been fine Mr. Malfoy." McGonagall had reentered the room without the boys notice and cause them to spin around looking startled.

"Professor, when did-

"I would _not _have been fine; I would have been murdered by those bloody pigeons!"

"Calm down Malfoy."

"I will not calm down!" Draco yelled, "My father will hear about this and you and Dumbledore will get sacked for allowing things like this to happen!" He stormed out of the room leaving a surprised Gryffindor and satisfied professor.

"Some people just can't handle a joke." McGonagall said, "You're dismissed Mr. Potter, I shall be seeing you in class tomorrow."

Harry took that as his cue to leave, already anticipating the retelling of this story to Ron and Hermione when he returned to the common room.

_That will teach them to quarrel on the quidditch pitch. _McGonagall thought as she left her classroom and headed towards her sleeping quarters.

* * *

"The teachers at this school are mad! Setting birds on their students who have landed themselves detention!" Draco ranted in his dormitory later that night, "I mean that can't possibly be legal, and if it is the world's gone mad as well, I mean-"

"Draco, just owl your father and tell him what's going on and quit whining about it. Damn." Blaise Zabini groaned from his four-poster.

"You're right; Father's influence in the Ministry can hopefully get those two sacked." Draco replied and went to rummage in his trunk for a piece of parchment when he heard Blaise.

"Here," Blaise said, holding out a piece of parchment, quill and ink well. "I want you to write this immediately so it keeps your trap shut."

"Why thank you Blaise," Draco drawled and rolled his eyes, "ever the helpful bloke, you are."

"I do what I can." was his reply as Draco snatched the items from him and sat down to write.

_Dear Father, _

_I'm not sure if you've received my previous letter but I must inform you of another atrocity that this school has once again brought forward. I had unrightfully and on no incriminating grounds received a detention from McGonagall with Potter for this evening. When we arrived, there were cockatoos in cages and we were told to transfigure them back to goblet within an hour. Potter and I got into an argument (which was to be expected) and the birds began to grow right out of their cages! They bit me and stole my favorite silver ring! It turns out these were Weasley products that needed testing and McGonagall was clearly more than happy to help. This kind of student abuse does not belong at Hogwarts and I suggest you get both McGonagall and Dumbledore sacked immediately! _

_Your son, _

_Draco_

Once the Slytherin was satisfied with his letter, he again made his way to the owlery.

It only took two days for Draco to get his reply. He was in his dormitory studying for his History of Magic test on goblin wars when the blood red envelope was delivered by a very handsome barn owl.

"Is that a howler?" Blaise asked with interest from the other side of the room.

"'Course not, why would my father be sending me a howler?" Draco scoffed and proceeded to open the letter.

_Draco Malfoy! Why must you tell me about every unsavory thing that happens to you? If I had a Knut for every time you've said, "My father will hear about this!" they wouldn't have a Gringotts vault big enough for them! If you owl me once more about 'stupid Potter' or 'know it all Granger' I will disown you! Oh and son? Your mother would like you to owl her immediately; all of her owls have apparently "dropped" your reply letters. Write your mother.  
Father_

By the time the letter had ripped itself to bit the entire Slytherin dorm was filled with cackling and howling boys who were relishing in their classmates verbal attack. It was Blaise who caught his breath first,

"I told you it was a howler, mate! I _told _you!" He was back to rolling on the floor again.

"Damn it Blaise, this isn't funny!" Draco was fuming at his classmates' response to his father's howler.

"Funny? It is hilarious!" he replied, "Draco Malfoy gets a howler for whining to his father! Clearly he hates your letters as much as we hate your time worn threat."

Seething, Draco left the confines of his laughter filled dorm and ventured into the halls to get away from the boys and think about what damage this could do to his reputation.

_Well this certainly is embarrassing, _he thought, _No one will take my threat to write to my father seriously anymore, not even father himself._

* * *

**So there it is! Hope you liked it and please leave a review with your thoughts! Positive or negative! Remember, suggestions are always welcome! :)  
**


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